Our demon is us and he is just here to take as much as we are willing to give, it is up to us to know when to stop feeding him. – A.J
Are you okay?
I have my red pill, blue pill moments
But I’m always high
Never smoke weed once, but I’m always passing the sky
I’m always drunk, it’s like I love the feeling of being numb
I’m crying again, it is driving me nuts
I can only take so much I need to slow down before I crash
Maybe I’m overthinking
But nothing hurts more than being in a place you don’t belong
It’s like suffocating yourself
Being your own demon hurt
There’s no one to take the blame when you hurt
I always hope no one has to go through what I’m going through
But maybe I’m just over exasperating
They are people out there dying of hungry
So why can’t I take a little pain
Why the fuck do I complain
I always wonder
What I’m I even doing here
God, what on earth is my purpose here
Why can’t I seem to get an answer? Or is it just that I’m too busy complaining, too busy crying, too busy hurting, too busy dying or too busy thinking about the future, wondering if I’ll make it or if I’ll just be a failure
You know I think all of this is because I don’t want to fail, I don’t mind doing it all from start again, but I still have fears I still feel like nobody is here
I know I can’t leave I haven’t done my work here
I’m going to keep holding on but how long before I slip away
If there’s no one holding me, I think I’m far from being saved
©️ Anita Johnson
‘ Do all things without murmurings and disputing.’ – Philippians 2:14
Don’t be a pessimist be an optimist
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