Posted in poetry

MY REFUSAL OF LOVE

“Love can be used for anything you can explain, any good thing that you can explain,”– Dr. Maya Angelou

My refusal of love is not of gain
But of fear 
I have given much, yet I have received little in return
They once said, with love, there’s much to earn
I’ve been alone for so long I dare not to pay such price
I’m not ready to surrender, I won’t swallow that pride
At this moment I choose to live.
I wish of no regret
The road which I walk is not lonely, I dare not to choose  a  partner of intimacy
My experiences  are as vivid as can be
My fears  are  nowhere  under my feet 
A set mind  is  a leader’s  mind 
Though I set my mind, I waste my time
For as I fix I break 
My experience  is as vivid  as  the day
No man knows  the time 
Only those who are willing to fight  shall fight 
I fight  no lost bottle  I won’t  hold on to you with pieces of shuttles
Carry on along with your  day if you stop your time  goes to waste
I listened  to  no grooming  words 
I portrayed  them as lies  and choose not to waste time
For gold  is the words, sliver  are the lips, but snake is the tongue
In peace  and  comfort  I hope to  stay 
I worry  not over intimacy  I have none  to  gain 
Love will I give, pity will I refuse 
I’m  not pathetic 
I might be  lost, but I choose to walk on a healing path and not damage an innocent heart.

©️ Anita Johnson

“Dear friends, let’s love each other, because love is from God, and everyone who loves is born of God and knows God. The person who doesn’t love does not know God, because God is love.” — 1 John 4:7-8

Don’t be a pessimist be an optimist

Posted in poetry

WISH I COULDN’T

Learning to forgive takes time, so does forgetting what they did. – A.J

I wish I could put what I’m feeling on paper
Wish I could just let the pen in my hand flow
Wish I didn’t have to press delete on my keyboard
Just because I think I not putting it in the right words
Wish I could just call you
Just so I could let out, all the hanger you make me feel
Wish I could just call you and say fuck you
Wish I could just wish you nothing but bad luck
Hope karma fucks you up
Wish I had a heart like you maybe I’d kill you
But that’s just not me
I can’t plan a revenge my heart won’t let me
I can’t call you and tell you, what I truly feel
I can’t give you that power over me
To let you know you’ve come out victorious,
In hurting me
I was never the one to show weakness and I won’t start now
So, I wish you all the best
I hope you find happiness
I hope when you look back you’ll have no regrets
As of now I’m being strong
Might has cried a few tears, but I know where I belong
I’ll get over this like I always do
I know it will hurt you
With that big of an ego of yours
I know you’d like to see me break down and cry
But I always win, I always put up a bigger fight.
Thanks for wasting my time.

BY Anita Johnson

‘Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice” Ephesians 4:31

Don’t be a pessimist be an optimist